I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
