is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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