hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
