Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
