So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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