I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we made out on top of his cat.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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