brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
