i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
