So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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