How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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