So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize