Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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