I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
