mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have aggressive nipples.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
