The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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