I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
