I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
