If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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