i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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