I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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