i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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