Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
