You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
