There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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