Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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