...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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