HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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