I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Panties = found
Randomize