I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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