Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
As shirtless as possible
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So here I am, sexting at work.
The ass gains better be worth it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
