did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
