We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
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