some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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