is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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