Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
