my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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