He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
