ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
