If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think I am morally bankrupt
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
