another moral hangover. fuck.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize