**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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