I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize