I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
