5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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