your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
