Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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