Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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