1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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