I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
