you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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