I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
