omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
