Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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