It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
