I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
