either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
