The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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