I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
