We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
