It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
