I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I wear drunk well.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
