i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
