At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize