It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
