WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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