"it" just moved
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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